i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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