I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
