I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
