How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
