The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would ride that face into the sunset
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
