There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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