here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
