she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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