You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
