You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
