I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
two words...techno handjob
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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