i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
