it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dick very happy bro
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
