You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
