i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Every concussion has its silver lining
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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