Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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