Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize