There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
