Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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