i just had sex bonerless
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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