Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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