I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
