Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
