why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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