so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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