Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
ttyl tear gas
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
