We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
