I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
