We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
