His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
