yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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