He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
