I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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