And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
