Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
