The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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