And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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