Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
