Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
