And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
