i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
