I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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