he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
