Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
