Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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