he thought i was a dude.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
