Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize