smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I love having hate sex.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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