I must be too annoying 4 u.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I smell stomach acid.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
