Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize