i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
