pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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