It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you win again, gameday.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
