sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize