i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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