Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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