hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My vagina just recognized that song.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
