sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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